It's a Fashion Week with lousy dish

It's a Fashion Week with lousy dish

Fashion Week and food just don’t go together. It’s time to discuss Anna Wintour’s most despised topic: eating at the Lincoln Center tents.

Let’s start with the lobby. Tucked away as an afterthought in a dark corner of the cavernous space in between runway shows is a concession stand where guests can grab a quick nibble. The problem is, it’s disgusting.

“Beware of the food at the Lincoln Center tents. It could kill you,” one taster tells Confidenti@l. “Staffers at the Fashion Cafe concession seem to know nothing about what they’re serving.”

One fabulous fashion editor we know specifically asked what was in the scones being offered in the main area, and the counter girl replied, “They’re plain.”

BEST PHOTOS OF NEW YORK FASHION WEEK FALL 2013

“I bought one and took a bite of what looked ‘plain,’ but turned out to contain chocolate chips, which I’m allergic to. What if I had a nut allergy? The bite I spit out could have been deadly.”

Our source was met with a nonchalant “sorry.”

“I should have known better than to grab the scone after I ordered a curried chicken salad sandwich on naan and they gave me chicken chunks on a roll, insisting it was the right sandwich,” says the fashion editor. “These people suck.”

Another taste-tester tells us there are jars of Karlie Kookies, an ode to model Karlie Kloss, sprinkled about the place. “They seem like the kind of joyless food a stick-thin model would eat. Their sole point is sustenance. I’m not even sure what makes them cookies, technically speaking. But they are free,” our hungry spy notes.

Another section at the tents is reserved for VIP palates only. Stylist Robert Verdi, Julie Henderson, Rashida Jones, Julianne Moore, Carmen Electra, Olivia Palermo and gaggles of models and their hangers-on who are invited into the ultra-luxe Mercedes-Benz Star Lounge discover it is less bleak than outside.

“It’s catered by a private company that probably has a side business building furniture for doll houses,” says the spy. “There are hors d’oeuvres generally the size of a nickel, including caviar and some sort of vegetable on a fancy chip of cracker.”

Our taster adds that the fancy area sometimes has beef, turkey and vegetable sliders â€" but that everyone has a “guilty look” on their faces if they decide to indulge.

“The people who eat them wait for everyone else to leave before scarfing them down in shame. They’re actually kind of good. People are missing out.”

JACOBS PARTY MISSES THE MARC

Marc Jacobs only goes to the best parties â€" maybe that’s why he skipped his own on Monday night. “The party was literally the most boring thing in the world,” sniffed one guest about the Marc by Marc Jacobs after-party at Harvard Club. “Marc didn’t even show up. He had to go to his studio for a fitting for something to do with [his show’s] production.” Even though the party didn’t draw a hefty star-studded crowd, model Jessica Stam, Zoe Kravitz and the Kills’ Alison Mosshart still showed face.

PHOTOS: NEW YORK FASHION WEEK FALL 2013: MARC BY MARC JACOBS

After avoiding a late night, Jacobs, early to rise, was spotted before 10 a.m. getting his hair cut at Three Squares Studio in Chelsea on Tuesday morning. He appeared to be in a zen state, eyes closed and palms clasped, as the stylist snipped away. The high-end Marc Jacobs show Thursday is expected to draw a ton of A-listers.

IMAN TRADES CAMPAIGNS FOR COVERS

After forgoing the runways last year so she could campaign for President Obama, red-hot 22-year-old model Chanel Iman is back in a big way. The day after walking in a fashion show for Jason Wu, who designed Michelle Obama’s inauguration gown, she appeared on WWD’s cover. When Iman returns from a shoot in Mexico next week, she’ll lunch with Michelle O at the White House. Iman was a month too young to vote for Obama in 2008, but it seems she’s made amends.

GOOD GRIEF! IT’S BOBBI KRISTINA

On the first anniversary of mom Whitney Houston’s death, Bobbi Kristina Brown decided to get some retail therapy â€" at an Atlanta Target. She was spotted Monday with boyfriend â€" and “adopted” brother â€" Nick Gordon, smoking and pushing a shopping cart of food and housing supplies, including a multipack of Bounty.

A DIFFERENT ‘CREATURES’ FEATURE

The stars of “Beautiful Creatures” insist the movie will not be the next “Twilight” series.

“It’s nothing like it,” Viola Davis told Confidenti@l at the Cinema Society screening of the film Monday night. Her co-star Emmy Rossum says, “I get the comparison because we are both based on young-adult novels, and it’s supernatural, but overall [“Beautiful Creatures”] has a lot of comedy, so I hope people can tell the difference.”

DUNHAM IS GENERATION WHY ME

“Girls” creator Lena Dunham says in the upcoming Rolling Stone that if she’s the spokeswoman of her generation, she doesn’t know how she got the job.

“It’s funny to me that I’m writing a show that people consider to be the voice of twentysomething people,” says the 26-year-old writer/actress. “I’ll sleep late and say, ‘This is disgusting, I’m an adult woman.’ Then I realize a lot of 26-year-olds go out and get hung over.”

BENSIMON’S MIAMI HUNT

Former “Real Housewife of New York” Kelly Bensimon is looking for a Miami manse.

The model was overheard at the Miami Lounge at Stone Rose in Columbus Circle on Monday asking former castmate Jill Zarin for real-estate advice. “I have always loved Miami and have been looking to buy property down there recently. Also thanks to Ramona [Singer] and Jill for their advice,” Bensimon told us. Singer also stopped by the lounge to grab a drink. The Pinot Grigio lover opted for a stiffer, Disaronno cocktail while recuperating with a massage. Fashion Week is hard.

RICK ROSS IS PARTY’S POWER PLAYER

Rapper Rick Ross got electronics giant Monster’s post-Grammy’s bash all wired up Sunday. Just as the House of Hype party wound down, Ross entered the room and gave VIP partygoers energy to continue. Our spies saw Swizz Beatz, DJ Irie and DJ Cobra jump on stage for a rocking impromptu performance, where they were quickly joined by John Legend, Jermaine Dupri, Ne-Yo and Flo Rida. According to our insider, Beatz briefly appeared to argue with a visiting fire marshal, but it seems all the fireman wanted was a photo with him.

FRANCO’S SNOOZE UPDATE

It’s no surprise multitasking James Franco rarely rests. “I fight sleep every night. I consider it a defeat,” the actor/student/professor says in the March issue of Details. Franco’s “Oz the Great and Powerful” co-star, Mila Kunis, witnessed his lack of sleep firsthand on set. “We were at the end of a 17-hour day doing this carriage scene with real horses,” Kunis explains. “James just fell asleep after a take. I mean, nothing I could do would wake him up. We came around for a take, everybody saw, and they just kept the cameras rolling.”

LIMA MAKES THE SOUTH HOT

While snow was falling over New York, Victoria’s Secret angel Adriana Lima migrated south with her basketball-playing husband Marko Jaric. The tall, dark and handsome pair celebrated their four-year wedding anniversary partying at SL Miami at the James Royal Palm. “Lima was tearing up the dance floor,” according to our spy, who says the supermodel even jumped into the deejay booth to lend a hand. “The crowd was loving it. Everyone was cheering and raising their glasses as she gave shout-outs on the mic.”

PHOTOS: ADRIANA LIMA SHOWS OFF $ 2M BRA

KING TURNS ON THE JUICE

Oprah’s bff Gayle King has a juice monkey on her back. After wolfing down a juice drink called “Love Doctor,” sources tell us King ordered a dozen bottles for delivery the next morning. Also at the party for “1 Pound a Day: The Martha’s Vineyard Diet Detox and Plan for a Lifetime of Healthy Eating,” were Tyson Beckford, Knicks big man Tyson Chandler and his wife, Kimberly, and Knicks coach Mike Woodson, who lost 21 pounds on the diet.